Time
by mariocat
Summary: Imagine knowing how much time every person around you has left until they die. I do. Phan Dan Howell/Phil Lester danisnotonfire/AmazingPhil
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, EXCEPT THE ACTUAL STORY. Please enjoy :)**

Time; it rules us. It controls every minute decision we make. It is always moving, never slowing. That same constant pace. You can never escape it. We all have a predetermined amount of time set for us at birth. For some, it's not even a day. Others, they live their whole life until their time runs out. Imagine knowing how much time every person around you has left. I've been able to see the numbers for as long as I can remember. The numbers floating around every single person I've ever laid eyes upon. Constantly counting down towards their inevitable death. It's hell knowing when everyone will die. Knowing that I can't do anything to change it. I guess I was lucky though, in a way, I knew how long I had left, how long my family had left. I knew when my grandmother was going to pass away. I was thankful for the fact that my parents still had the rest of their lives to live, that they weren't going to die before their time.

I used to sit in the park every day after school on my way home, give myself time to sit and think in the silence. I soon started noticing a little girl would come to the park every Wednesday with her mother. She didn't have very long left. 2 months. I watched every Wednesday as her life ticked away slowly. On the Wednesday after she died, I watched as her mother came to the park by herself and completely break down. 'Why did this have to happen to me!? Why my baby!?' she had screamed at the sky, sobs ripping through her throat. I never went back to the park after that, always taking the long way home so I didn't have to see it. That woman had haunted my dreams for many weeks after.

I started distancing myself from my friends, my family, everyone. I thought that if I had no one to care about, no one to love, no one who loved me, then I'd never have to experience what that mother did in the playground.  
>I tried to disconnect myself from the numbers. My apathy and callousness made people keep their distance from me. Who'd what to be friends with an 'uncaring' and 'heartless' person like me? I could hear what they all said about me, when they thought I couldn't hear. I was so lonely, but it was okay, I'd never have to feel the pain of losing someone I loved, if I had no one. Until one day, it changed.<p>

It started off like every other day. Get out of bed, get ready for school, the same boring routine. My family sending me worried looks, but never speaking, as I left through the front door, head bowed down, to avoid seeing the numbers. The same as every day. Get to school just in time and take my seat, nobody sparing a glance at the rude, lonely boy. I felt like I was in a little bubble while I was at school, a bubble of invisibility. Even the teachers tried to not take notice of me.

That's when it happened. A tall, pale boy with shiny, onyx hair and wide, cerulean eyes entered the classroom. It wasn't the fact that he was positively the most gorgeous person I've ever seen that shocked me when we locked eyes, it was the fact that his numbers where exactly the same as mine, down to the very last second. I'd never seen two people with the same amount of time left. Sure, I had seen people whose numbers where a few minutes apart even, but never the exact same time. I realised that I'd just been staring at him while deep in my thoughts when he grinned and raised an eyebrow at me. I blushed and looked down quickly into my lap, concentrating on picking at my fingernails.

I briefly heard the teacher introducing the new boy to our class. I wasn't paying attention, too caught up in my own embarrassment, until I heard the seat beside mine being pulled out. The only available seat in the class, so of course he'd have to sit next to me. I chanced a quick look at him, and he was smirking slightly at me. I was only about an inch taller than him, I noticed, as I sat up straight in my chair, facing forwards.

I looked at him again, he'd placed his bag down and was getting his things set up. I noticed how long his eyelashes were, and that he hardly blinked. Before I knew it I was caught up in trying to see all the little things about him, and I was staring again. His little giggle brought me back to my senses.  
>"Sorry." I mumbled, looking away from him, feeling my face heat up. He laughed quietly.<br>"It's okay." He muttered back, leaning in slightly towards me, he had a Northern accent, cute.  
>"I'm Phil by the way." He said, introducing himself.<br>"Dan." I whispered, turning to look at him.  
>He was smiling at me, his eyes sparkling, skin crinkling up at the corners of them, he was beautiful, and I was doomed.<p>

**AN: Please leave a review and favourite, I'd appreciate any help or tips you could give me for writing, and also tell me if I've made any grammatical or spelling mistakes, thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

Sitting next to him is agony. I could already feel myself wanting to know him, wanting to befriend him. But I couldn't. I couldn't do that to him.

Oh yes, I understood that we were going to die at the same time, the numbers never lied, never changed. That's why the temptation was so strong, I'd never have to feel the pain of losing him, nor him me, we'd leave together, at the same time.

That's not why I couldn't get close to him. He seemed so bright, so happy, so full of life, and I was none of those. Everyday I spent alone. Everyday contemplating why I was the only one with this curse placed on me.

Why couldn't I be like Phil? Happy, free, ignorant. Oh, what I would give to be ignorant. To not know. To be able to make friends and enjoy time with my family. To not have to worry about the fact that my biology teacher was going to die in 3 weeks. To not know that the girl who sits at the front of my maths class is going to die in a year.

I'd bring him down. He wouldn't be able to cope with who I am. No, it's better if he becomes friends with the normal people at our school.

"Dan?" I hear him say, nudging my side, sending shockwaves of electricity through me. I look up at him standing next to me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I mumble, noticing the classroom is basically empty now.

"The bell just rang. Are-are you okay?" He asks me, hoisting his bag over his shoulder. I shake my head.

"Hmm, no, I'm fine. Just distracted." I say quietly, packing my things up. He stands behind me silently. Just as I'm about to walk off, he grabs my arm and I freeze. He notices how I tense and quickly lets go.

"Oh, um, sorry. I was just wondering if you could show me to my next class? I'm not too sure where anything is and I can't understand the map they gave me." He says quickly, blushing. I contemplate saying no and just leaving.

"Uh yeah, sure. What's your next class?" I ask, moving to stand beside him as he pulls his time table out. I nearly groan out loud, this can't be happening.

"Oh, that's-thats great. We have all the same classes except for art. Come on then, we're going to be late." I tell him, walking quickly out the classroom, Phil trailing behind me.

He keeps up with me easily, his long legs striding beside mine at the same pace. Normally, people have to jog a little to keep up.

"Would you mind if I sat with you at lunch? Where do you sit?" He asks suddenly as we turn a corner, drawing nearer to our next class. I almost trip over my own feet in shock. What can I say to that? I can't be rude to him...

"You can sit with me." I say without realising, I nearly slap myself. What am I doing? I'm going to ruin any chance he has at making friends!

"Your friends won't mind?" He asks, I nearly laugh.

"I, I don't have any friends." I mumble as I stop in front of our class.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Why not though, if you don't mind me asking.." He inquires as I knock on the door.

I don't get to answer as the door swings open.

"Ah, Daniel, you're late, I wouldn't expect that of you. Oh, who's this? You must be Philip? The new boy? Right, of course. Come in. Sit. Our lesson has already begun." Ms Rileys says sternly, pointing in the room. We shuffle in quietly, all eyes on us. I hear them whispering to each other, wondering why I'm talking to the new boy, I don't talk to anyone.

I sit down in my seat, Phil sits next to me.

I hear Ms Rileys start talking about symbolism in ancient literature or something, but I block it out, every nerve in my body focusing on how warm Phil's arm is every time it brushes against mine when he shifts in his seat. How his hand moves across his paper as he writes down the notes of the board. How his tongue runs along his bottom lip slowly, making the light shine off his now wet lips. How his fringe falls gently across his eye, it looks so soft, I could just touch it.

I shake my head, snapping out of it when I hear someone cough.

I absentmindedly take down notes as I focus on the sounds of his breathing. What is wrong with me?

My body feels like it's on fire when he leans into me.

"Do you understand any of this?" He whispers, turning to look at me. I shake my head, staring into his eyes. He smiles at me again, eyes sparkling so beautifully.

"It doesn't really matter. If you copy her notes down and study those, you'll basically know everything on the test." I whisper back, forcing myself to look away from his eyes.

"Really? Thanks." He says back, tongue sticking out to the side when he smiles wider. God, that's adorable. Who even is this boy?

I just shrug, dragging my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to crush my sudden urge to kiss him.

He looks back at the front of the room, absorbing what the teacher was saying.

I'm literally so screwed. I knew I was bisexual. But holy fuck, this boy was beyond anyone I'd seen. Everything about him drew me in. He is so enticing. Like a forbidden fruit.

Maybe one little bite wouldn't hurt.

**AN: sorry if updates are slow. I'm just so lazy..anyway, hope you like it ^.^**


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